half awake daydream
half asleep pleasures.
i am tired.
slipping into my dress,
into a void dream
or a mirrored, half-nightmare.
i dream about men i’ll never have
about places i’ve only ever seen in heaven
about my mother, my uncle, my grandmother.
i am on the train.
i dreamed we ran all around the city
and at the end of the dream i was sitting in a dark room
watching the security cam footage
of myself waiting for the train.
i saw him walk over to me
and put his hands lightly around my waist.
i watched in that room,
having no memory of it.
then my hazel eyes
adjusted to the sunlight
and i smiled in the morning,
knowing i had lost a great deal
of something unrecoverable
Copyright 2015 Golden Star Poetry