Category Archives: sad

Phantom Limb

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in bed, i was

sick
sick
sick
sick
helath
sick

I thought I was immersed in health-that’s wrong-i was immersed in

sick
sick
sick
sick
sick

and I CRIED OUT! I WAS IMMERSED IN

five different blankets of sick, each the different stages of
obsessive illness:
attention,
classification,
concentration,
delirium,
insanity.

“you know what?”i smile,
“it’s not so bad.”
im licking my lips
and i notice the obvious
pounding chest, a bit accelerating
that lasts for minutes and comes back several times for several hours
and i think about the way i always end up seeing the world
through your eyes,¬†pretending you’re observing me
like a comforting  spy.
and anyhow-
sick, getting better, it’s all the same
it’s vital and i need it.
it’s like a pulse:
it’s running high
they say
get her to a doctor they say
there is no doctor for this disease they say,
you go to psychiatrists for that.
no for that they go out into the world
and they see that no one is really like the
people they make up in their minds
and then they get sick again
trying to forget the fact.

Copyright 2015 Golden Star Poetry

A Letter I Wrote to Sam Last Fall

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doe eye
wanted to find her way back to her camp on the hillside
she said yes, I’ll take your dollar
she said yes, I’ll make a holler

doe eye
made her way back to the hillside
she was worn out from being upset
with the neighbors, but she was blessed
she tiptoed on my wooden floorboards
and as they creaked,
she sauntered over to me

doe eye
was sleeping on the hillside
she was living by a ramshackle ten feet wide
but she rarely ever stepped inside
even if she needed to hide

doe eye-

make a prayer for the sweet no-county girl
make sure she’s heard
for she’s sweeter than me,

she has to be somewhere for others to see,
but that’s beside the point:

I wanna see her huddled up to you, sam
I wanna see her feeling like the pearl inside a clam
I wanna see her leave the cities inside her head
I want her to know it’s better to be alive than dead

(please, please sam
please please, please
sam please I’m tellin’ ya please sam
I’m pleadin’ please please sam)

Copyright 2015 Golden Star Poetry